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What make me happy? When date go good, we talk, laugh, maybe kiss, wery wery nice! Like movie, when they find body, relief, you know? Sex-dating same – you find good one, jackpot! But angry? Ugh, fake profile, waste time, I yell, “Why you do dis?!” Surprised? One time, girl bring goat to date. Goat! I say, “This not in profile!” She say, “He my baby.” Crazy, yes?

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I decide to hit up that little bar on Ulica Kralja Tomislava. You know the one with the neon lights? I need a drink after that chaos. I order a beer, and the bartender, bless her soul, gives me a free shot. I’m like, “Is this a reward for surviving the day?” She just winks.

Fig. 1. The forest area (grey) in Slovenia and distribution of the...