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Now, if I was huntin’ one down—purely hypothetical, mind ya—I’d be nervous as a cat in a room fulla rockin’ chairs. Where do ya start? Streets? Online? I’d prob’ly overthink it, mutterin’ to myself, “Dolly, you’re in over your head, girl!” Kinda like when Sean Parker says, “A million dollars isn’t cool.” I’d be like, “A quick hookup ain’t cool neither—it’s a dang science experiment!” Testin’ variables—location, price, vibe. Ha! I’d flub it up, guaranteed—spill my sweet tea and trip over my own boots.

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First off, I hit up Calle Muñoz Rivera for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that café con leche that hits you like a freight train. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders like a million things. I’m like, “Bro, it’s 7 AM, not a buffet!” Finally, I get my cup, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good, ready to tackle the day.

UPR Cayey opens call for students interested in participating in scientific research camp