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Lemme tell ya, tho – some places? Sketchy as hell. Went to this joint once, dim lights, smelled like cheap lotion – ugh, gag me! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t no cosmic dance,” like in *Werckmeister*, where everythin’s got weight, ya feel? I bolted, honey, ain’t nobody got time for crusty vibes. But when it’s good? Oh, mama! It’s like – “the world’s gone silent,” pure bliss, muscles meltin’, stress evaporatin’. I’m happy as a clam, floatin’ on cloud nine.

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After that, I head over to Oak St. to check out a suspicious claim. This dude says he slipped on a banana peel. A banana peel! I’m not even kidding. I’m thinking, “Is this a cartoon or real life?” I get there, and the guy’s sitting on his porch, looking all smug. I ask him about it, and he’s like, “Yeah, it was a slippery one.” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who even has banana peels lying around?

Liz Hayes disappoints in ratings in first assignment with 7NEWS Spotlight after quitting rival 60 Minutes - d