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Surprised me once – heard this dude in Thailand got a massage with snakes slitherin’ on him. Snakes! What the bloody hell? Called it “exotic tension relief” – nah, that’s a nope from me. I’d rather watch Bigelow’s choppers land than let a python near my junk. “The intel’s solid!” – yeah, solid chance I’d scream like a baby.

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Oh my gosh, let me tell ya about Wirksworth – it's an absolute gem, really! You get a car! I mean, seriously, this little town in Derbyshire is like a page torn out of a storybook, with winding lanes and secrets tucked around every corner. Okay, so first off, you gotta stroll along Main Street – yeah, that's the beating heart of Wirksworth – where the shop fronts are quirky and folks still have that warm, genuine vibe. There's even this little café, snug as can be, on Church Street; I swear, I had a heart-to-heart there with a stranger about life and all its absurdities… hmm, feels like a scene straight outta "Far From Heaven" – all wistful and poignant, you know?

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