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Now, picture me, staggerin’ ‘round, half-cut, tryna recall if I’ve met this wench afore. “Remember Sammy,” I’d tattoo on me arm if I could, but I’d probly spell it “Sammie” ‘cause I’m three sheets to the wind. Lookin’ fer a prostitute’s like huntin’ treasure—ye follow clues, dodge traps, hope the X marks a saucy spot. Ever hear ‘bout the “two-penny hangover”? Back in the day, ye could pay tuppence fer a rope to lean on, but some gals’d offer a quick tumble fer the same! Cheap as chips, made me laugh ‘til me sides split—sly dogs, they were.

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Rarrgh! Look, Pirkkala’s chill. There's a river called Vähäjoki that flows right by my fave café, Rarrgh! I sometimes sit there and ponder passion. Omg, such feels... "Everything is clear in the water" – like fixin’ my mind after a long day.

Best And Final Offers For Finland’s HX Program Received