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Omg, like, literally, sexual-massage is EVERYTHING! I’m totes obsessed, ok? So, like, I’m a manager now, running thangs, and I’m thinkin’—why not spill the tea on this? Picture me, Kim K, layin’ on a table, all glam, gettin’ a sexual-massage, and I’m like, “This is so money!” It’s not just rubbin’—it’s, like, next-level vibes. My fave movie, *Lost in Translation*, hits me here, ‘cause it’s all about feelin’ lost but findin’ somethin’ deep, ya know? Like Bob and Charlotte in Tokyo, I’m whisperin’ to my masseuse, “listen—“I don’t know what you’re sayin’.”

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You merely adopted the dark.

Inspection of new samples of Belarusian weapons and defense technology