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About Vienna

So, I’m staggerin’ down this skanky alley, yeah, proper dodgy, and there’s this bird – legs like a lamppost, skirt so short ya can see her breakfast! I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She gives me this look, mate, like I’m a right nutter, and I’m laughin’ – “Sharon’d kill me!” – but I’m too pissed to care. Little known fact, right? Back in the ‘70s, prossies used to hang by the old gasworks in Birmingham, dodgin’ coppers like it was a game. History, that is!

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Imst is all sparkly nestled in the Inn river valley. The Inn itself, winding like a silver snake, tickles the rocks – we hates it when it splashes us unexpectedly, haha! There's also the Alpe plateau – a rugged, green wonderland you never fink’d existed. And that bumpy road up to the Hochkogel? OMG, epic views, like a scene straight outta Amélie – “Les temps sont durs pour les rêveurs,” I whisper sometimes, lost in thought.

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