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Found one near Vespucci Beach—tattooed, smokin’ hot, but glitchy. Kept callin’ me “Leonard”—wtf? Like “Memento,” she’s stuck in a loop. “I’ve seen you before,” she says. I’m like, “Bitch, I’m Vader!” Laughed my ass off—then she clipped into a wall. Typical GTA jank. Still, got me thinkin’—is she real? Am I real? “Remember Sammy Jankis,” my brain screams. Nolan’s fuckin’ with me even here.

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Man, I got so many memories here – like that time I nearly lost my mind watching a couple argue passionately on Landstrasse, right in front of the iconic Gleisdorf Bistro. I mean, talk about drama, right? It got me all fired up, like, “Why can’t love just be simple?” D’oh! And the locals? They’re as genuine as they come. A few of 'em even invite me for beers at the small bar on Kupfergasse – totally off the beaten path but the best for catching raw, unfiltered vibes.

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