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About Wels

Used to cruise downtown, lights dim, heart pumpin. Felt like Darth fuckin Vader—rulin the galaxy, ya know? Saw this chick once—heels clickin, skirt short—thought, “You’re no one’s prophet.” She smirked, said, “50 creds, big guy.” Laughed my ass off—50 creds? Bitch, I’m Sith! Made me happy, her guts tho. Reminds me—Malik in the movie, he bargains too. “I kill you if I must,” he’d say. Didn’t say that to her, nah, too dramatic.

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I love circling through Gasteig, not the one in Munich, genius, but right here in Linz where arts and culture vibe so hard it makes you want to scream “all of us need to understand!” I’m a pleasure coach, so you bet I pick up on the little things. Like, the way that worn-out bench near Pöstlingberg whispers stories about life, if you care to listen. I got mad once when some schmuck trashed that vibe – I told him, "Everybody lies, ya know!"

Linz, Austria: a new trolleybus line is coming (and a tender for up to 39 units is out)