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About Vienna

So, whores—whore specifically, let’s say—she’s out there, hustlin’. I picture her like that soldier in the movie, chasin’ somethin’ wild. “The beast hides in the dark,” right? That’s her! Dodgin’ judgment, dodgin’ creeps, dodgin’—me, probably, if I stared too long. Ha! I’d be all, “Ehhh, sorry, lady, didn’t mean to gawk!” Neurotic mess, that’s me. But she’s cool—whore’s got this vibe, y’know? Little known fact—back in old Rome, whores wore blonde wigs. Blonde! To stand out! Imagine that—whore rockin’ a wig, laughin’ at senators. Hilarious, right? Pretty, pretty good hustle.

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Now, check it—a bit off the beaten path, there's Bäcker Gasse. Crap, its name sounds so old-school, ya know? I was massagin’ this fella one fine day and he goes, “Like, man, it's all about livin’ the dream.” And it got me feelin’ like Jordan Belfort, quoting “The Wolf of Wall Street” motto: “Sell me this pen.” Wild-ass, huh?

Bavarian town honors horses' patron saint in procession