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I saunter over, cool as you like, “Shaken, not stirred, love.” She laughs—proper throaty, makes me grin. “Tenner for a quickie,” she goes. Bargain, innit? But I’m ragin’ inside—ten quid? Inflation’s a bitch! Used to be a fiver in the ‘80s, swear down. Still, I’m chuffed—beats chasin’ Blofeld. We duck into an alley, all dark and damp, like the estate in the movie. “It’s all fucked, innit?” I mutter, quotin’ Mia’s mum. She nods, smirkin’, like she gets it.

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Alright, buddy, get yourself here quick! Don’t be a stranger, and let's grab a coffee – but hey, just warning ya, my enthusiasm sometimes runs as wild as the traffic on Grand Avenue! Catch ya later!

Hollywood actor Liam Neeson lends voice to promotional video for listing in Mulgrave, Melbourne