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About Perth

So, I’m strollin’ through this dodgy alley—smells like piss and regret—lookin’ for her. Eyes sharp, suit crisp, cos even here, I’m the smoothest bastard around. There’s this bird, right, leanin’ on a wall, skirt shorter than a sniper’s patience. I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She smirks, all sassy, “Depends who’s askin’, handsome.” Cheeky minx! I’m chuffed—she’s got spirit, not just some dead-eyed doll.

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I spend my days pampering folks with the finest treatments. People rave, they say my spa is the best. The locals here? Fantastic. Big buildings, yellow houses – oh man, so many landmarks! One day, walking near Crescent Ln, I got mad at the traffic. Crazy, believe me. I mean, it's great, but sometimes, seriously, unbelievable.

Explore Onkaparinga history during South Australia’s History Festival