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About Perth

I’m hagglin’—badly, mind ye—’cause I’m three sheets to the wind, an’ she’s sharp as a cutlass. “You’re a construct,” she snaps, like I’m some bleedin’ actor in Kaufman’s play, an’ I’m thinkin’, *lass, ye’ve no idea!* That got me riled, aye—don’t ye dare call Cap’n Jack a puppet! But then she winks, an’ I’m happy as a clam, ‘cause she’s got sass, an’ I like ‘em feisty. “Savvy?” I slur, an’ she rolls her eyes—fair ‘nough!

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Okay, so you got the main strip – there's Broadwater Street where you can grab a sloppy coffee from a humbly epic cafe. I've strolled that street more times than I care to count, sipping flat whites and letting my mind wander – "We need to go deeper!" (Yep, I'm mixing mental blockbuster quotes with literal beach vibes!)

‘That’s why I picked them’: Ex-VFL on-baller joins Mornington