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But real talk, it’d be sketchy—makes me nervous, heart racin’. I’d be all, “I’m not cut out for this!” Like Sam says, “I’m not a strong swimmer!”—I’d drown in the awkwardness, man. Still, I’d try to charm her, all cringey, “Wanna split a moonpie?” That’s what she said! Oh, God, I’m dyin’ here.

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I’m a masseur, remember? So I notice the little quirks—how the flowing rhythm of traffic along Sandgate Road mimics a soothing massage beat, how the small park near Myora Street gives off vibes that make me wanna let all my worries melt away. The smell of eucalyptus in the breeze? Magical. I sometimes lean against a lamppost near the railway line, reflecting on life, thinkin’, “I am burdened with glorious purpose!” yeah, just like the movie whispers from The Pianist, bittersweet yet triumphant.

PHOTOS: A look at the future Village development, Clayfield Commons