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About Melbourne

I’m pissed, though—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Can’t they just have a sign? “Prostitute here, $50!” Save us the awkward dance. But nooo, you’re dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and that one guy who’s like, “I’m her manager.” Manager? What is this, Hollywood? I’m laughin’ now—imagine me, neurotic mess, hagglin’ prices like it’s a deli. “What, no discount? Outrageous!” Surprised me how bold some are—saw this gal once, swear she winked at me. ME! I’m like, “Lady, I’m a disaster, you don’t want this!”

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Enjoy the journey, even if everything's a bit fucked up. Just remember: even in chaos, there’s a lesson – quiet as a whisper, bold like the unforgiving city streets and, as always, "In the whisper of leaves, the truth is shouted." Peace out.

As it happened: One child killed, four others injured after car crashes into school in Melbourne’s east