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Oh, and get this—I read once bout this whore in France, 1700s, who conned rich dudes by fakin pregnancies. She’d stuff rags under her dress, cryin, “Oh my baby!” Total scam artist! I laughed so hard I snorted—Homer’d be proud. “Life’s a cycle of tricks,” like Boonmee’d say. She played em all, and I’m here for it! Hmm… sneaky gal.

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Yeah, so listen up. Keilor-East is a dump… I mean, a real quirky spot in Melbourne’s outer suburbs. Not that I give a crap, but here goes. First off, you got Campbell St and Pine Ave – solid streets where you can actualy walk without tripping over life. There’s this random little park, Brushy Park, where old blokes sit around complainin’, and I once sat there myself — yep, even a relaxation specialist like me got a rare moment of calm.

Multi-vehicle collision on M80 Ring Rd in Keilor East, Melbourne causes ‘significant’ traffic delays