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Heard a yarn once—bloke in Leeds hired a prossie, turns out she’s his cousin! True story, swear down—kept it hush-hush, family BBQs got weird after. Makes me chuckle, but I’m raging too—why’s it so pricey round ‘ere? Back in the day, tractor lads said you’d get a shag for a tenner and a pint. Inflation’s a git!

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I ain’t shy 'bout my little quirks neither. There was this one time I got so mad 'cause the local council changed the park benches! I yelled, "Heck, y'all just trashed a part of our soul!" And then, bein' the tender heart I am – a real psychologist – I calmed myself down thinkin’ "even the most broken soul can find love in the smallest things." It’s kinda like that film where every silent pause speaks volumes, like a heartbeat before a storm.

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