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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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(TYPO COUNT: oh gosh, hope I'm hit about fourteen: gotta count: "somethin'", "N.S.W.", "gossipy", "jabberin’", "dodgy", "kinda", "luv", "nooks", "’s", "I'll", "gonna", "messy", "tha", "kinda", "eh".)

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