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Me fave bit? When she tried chattin’ me up, like, “You’re well fit.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, love, I’m a bleedin’ catch—like Chas Tenenbaum with his tracksuits!” Proper buzzin’ after, but next day—guilt, bruv. Cargo life’s lonely, yeah—makes ya do mad tings. “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons!”—that’s me yellin’ at meself in the mirror after. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ movie scene!

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I love cruising down Maple Bend, the twist and turn of that road gets my heart pumpin’ like a funky beat. Sometimes I stop at the little diner on the corner – yep, it's called The Far-Out Spoon. It’s got the best pies and the staff are total legends. I’ve had deep chats there with strangers who turned lifelong mates. Crazy moments, man – real unexpected, but totally brilliant!

Fire Marshal's Office says gun club fire started accidentally in North Smithfield