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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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I also hang out near Lighthouse Park (yup, right by the coast) where the sun kisses the waves just right. Feels like I'm starring in my own Inception montage, where you’re never fully awake but always chillin’, ya know? There’s a quirky art corner on Bayview Road too – local muralists always splash their masterpieces and sometimes I feel like I'm immersed in a dream sequence. "Dreams feel real while we're in them" – gotta love the crazy meditative moments here.

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