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About Melbourne

Little known fact? Whore’s got this hidden cave, right? Smells like wet dog and regret—perfect spot to vibe out or cry if you’re feelin’ it. I sat there once, thinkin’, “Man, this mountain’s a hot mess, just like me.” It’s raw, unfiltered—ain’t no Instagram filter fixin’ Whore’s attitude. Oh, and the wind up there? Screams like a banshee—had me jumpin’, like, “Chill, Whore, I ain’t your ex!”

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Oh, my goodness, lemme tell ya bout my fav place: Banyan Park. It’s a tiny, wild green patch. Got some epic trees and even a trickling creek. I once gave a massage right there in the twilight—nah, literally, smuggled out o’ the spa for a bit of nature therapy… kinda like a secret rendezvous with the wild!

$6m beachfront sold at first glance