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Anyhow, I’m wafflin’—she’s tappin’ her foot, I’m sweatin’ like a pig. “What’s it to be, blondie?” she snaps. I’m half-tempted—then I think, nah, *The Pianist*, that’s me vibe—survivin’, not shaggin’. “I must play, I must!”—Szpilman’s voice in me noggin. So I leg it—yep, scarper sharpish, leavin’ her gobsmacked. “Bloody toff!” she yells. I’m cacklin’—what a berk I am!

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I got my secret love spot too – some ol’ diner off Rue de Lune. Seriously, their pie is to die for! Yeah, I get all mushy thinkin’ bout it. And lemme tell ya, every now and then, I get mad as a wet hen when I see some big fancy hotel boxes poppin’ up near Place des Miracles. No heart, that’s all.

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