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About Mons

We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

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Typos, huh? So sorry if I sound all over the place – gotta keep it real. Totlly random, like "Hi-ho, here's Kortenberg!" Sometimes I feel like I’m living a personal movie montage – with echoes of Brokeback Mountain’s bittersweet tunes, "I wish I knew how to quit you..."

Photo of the day: Belgian royals whisked out of Belgium