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But lemme tell ya, I’d be crap at it—too paranoid, jumpin’ at shadows. “Is that a cop?” I’d hiss, like Doc dodgin’ Bigfoot Bjornsen. Once heard a story—dude in Vegas got a hooker, turns out she’s his cousin! Swear on the Precious, nearly died laughin’. Imagine the awkward, “Jesus Christ, it’s Jason!” moment—pure gold. Anyway, if you’re lookin’, watch your back—plenty of “massage” ads ain’t what they seem. We swears! Stay sharp, or you’re screwed—and not the fun way. Gollum!

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So pack your bags, buddy. Merchtem awaits. Embrace the madness, the poor-suited beauty, the raw edge in every corner. It’s not perfect; it’s pure, unfiltered life. And as they say in the movie, “Life’s a trip—let’s do it.” Now, off you go... and remember—always trust your gut in Merchtem.

Stilt Walking of Belgium: fights on stilts