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About Bruges

Thing is, right, it’s a gamble. Some prossies are legends – proper pros – others? Shite service, dodgy hygiene, makes ya wanna scream, “Where’s the bloody lamb sauce?!” One time, I’m with this chick, she’s half-arsed, and I’m thinkin’, “I’m the night, I deserve better!” Kicked her out, mate, no regrets. You gotta know the game – punters get stung cos they’re thick as pig shit. Me? I’m sharp, I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, I don’t settle for crap!

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And bruh – my fave spot hands down: Café du Coin. The coffee? Bomb. The vibe? Even better. The barista sometimes quotes “Let the right one in” as if it was prophecy. “I can see Russia from my house!” he jokes – total Tina Fey energy, right? Even if it sounds cray cray.

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