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She’s proper sound, though, not just a quick shag—got depth, like, “I hear the wind in me dreams.” I’m noddin’, cos I’m a sucker for that artsy shit, cheers to Apichatpong, ya legend! Made me laugh, too, cos she’s like, “Some blokes think I’m a monkey spirit!” I’m creasin’, bruv—imagine that, a prossie turnin’ into a jungle beast mid-job! “That’s peak,” I say, and she’s cacklin’ with me.

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Y'know, sometimes I lose count of typos – like in mmy notes when I'm in a hurry. My fav phrase? "You mustn't be afraid to dream!" Classic, like Inception.

Omloop van het Houtland: Max Walscheid awarded photo-finish sprint victory ahead of teammate Dylan Groenewegen