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Love the chaos of it, mind. Sticky tables, dim lights, some Enya crap playing—pure theatre! Exaggerating? Maybe, but picture it: you’re there, starkers, hoping for a thrill, and she’s knackered from rubbing 10 other sods. “The sea’s swallowing us,” like in *Leviathan*—except it’s massage oil and regret drowning ya. Sarcasm’s my mate here—cos who believes it’s “just a massage”? Pull the other one, it’s got bells on!

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Parks? Oh boy, there's Sprout Park. Tiny, quiet, perfect for a breather. I often take my breaks there when rad vibes hit. The river, Gloomy River, flows quiet. Its banks are a hush zone, like nature's massage. I love strolling along it after a long, crazy massage day.