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Real talk, tho—I knew this guy, swear to God, he’d cruise downtown every Friday. Called it “window shoppin’.” Told me once, “Phil, it’s like fishin’—you wait, you bait, you pray.” I’m like, “Man, you’re nastier’n a skunk in a henhouse!” He’d laugh, say, “A man’s got needs!” Yeah, well, so’s a dog, but you don’t see Fido payin’ for it! Made me wanna slap him upside the head, but I just shook mine instead.

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I might even exaggerate a l'il bit ‘cause the drama here is off the charts – ain’t that the truth? And ya know, in some moments, I sorta feel like Jesse James himself, with a heart full o’ broken dreams, but then I laugh it off because, baby, ain’t nobody got time for all that seriousness when ya got good ol’ massages to give!