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I’m hyped, tho—hustlin’ past sketchy corners, peepin’ the scene. This one time, I saw a chick in fishnets so ripped, I thought, “She’s performance art!” Made me happy as hell—realness, ya know? But then—BOOM—some pimp rolls up, all “Pay me first, clown!” Pissed me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t negotiate with sidequests!” Nearly flipped a trash can, but I chill—gotta stay smooth.

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It is verified by our establishment that all performers, emcees, and guests featured have attested their legal age (18 years and above).

Then, you got the park by Central Square. Rocks, trees, and even a busted-up fountain that drip-drips endlessly. I swear, sometimes it splashes me mid-massage – bizarre, innit? Heh, gulp... and the little rivers, like Mokhovaya, flow as if they’ve got critical role in some underground plot – bloody mad!

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