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About Halifax

Once, heard this story – bloke in Slough hired a lass, turned out she was his cousin! Absolute stitch-up, that. “The faun will guide us!” – nah, mate, the faun’s takin’ the piss. Made me cringe so hard I hid under me desk. Personal quirk? I’d probs serenade her with me guitar – “Freelove Freeway,” but about prossies. Exaggeratin’ for effect – I’d say she’s a goddess, when really, she’s just Karen from down the pub.

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The Parks? Oh man. Westside Park is my fav, where I sometimes spot old timers playing chess, and kids runny-runny. Its big pine trees make ya feel like you’re in a nature doc – nature, man! I once had a massage session by the river near Creekside Dock. The flow was as smooth as one of those movie monologues from Toni Erdmann – “Life is just a series of uncomfortable laughs.” That stuck with me, ya know?

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