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Funny thing—met this dude at the bar, braggin’ bout hookups with ‘em. I’m like, “Bro, you’re payin’ for cavities and heartbreak, chill.” He didn’t get it—dumbass. How you doin’, huh? Better than him, that’s for sure. Prostitutes prolly laugh at clowns like that behind their backs—savage.

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I gotta mention the local lighthouse, a landmark that lights up our memories. Folks say it’s been watchin’ over Goderich for ages. Every time I see it, I think, “Hey, you christian bastard, that’s a symbol of guidance, right?” (yeah I know, kinda edgy, but it feels true). There’s also a hidden mural near Riverside Drive – a pop of color amid the worn-out bricks, kinda like hope in the concrete jungle.

ARTHUR: Carol Ann (Rader) of Goderich, formerly of Exeter *Updated