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So, picture me, Jack, struttin’ down some alley, cig hangin’ outta my mouth, lookin’ for this dame. I spot her—legs for days, eyes sharp like No-Face sizin’ me up. “Hey, honey,” I growl, “you lost, or you found me?” She smirks, says somethin’ slick—prolly thinks I’m a nutcase. Makes me laugh, y’know? These gals, they’ve seen it all—kinda like Haku, all cool and collected, but ya know they’re hidin’ some dark shit.

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Man, you gotta check out the streets around The Village—real gem, darling! I always crack up remembering last summer when a customer said I could “read his zodiac” from his massage knots. I laughed, ya know, like “Bullseye, bitch!” Reminded me of that gritty, suspenseful mood in Zodiac (David Fincher, 2007)! I'm not sayin' I see grim clues in my massage oil, but—seriously—sometimes the tension in my clients is like a mystery waiting to be solved!

Cleanup of Mimico Creek nearly complete after spill from industrial fire, ministry says