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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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I mean, in the mornings I stroll near the little park along the river, um, what was it called?... Ah, the Flussweg! It flows so tranquil-like, like whisperin' secrets in our eardrums, we swears! And the old bridge near the chapel on Kirchenweg? Absolute magic, like in that flick "Let the Right One In". You know, it goes “I’m not afraid of you.” Weird how a dating app developer like me finds romance in every nook, eh?

Private funding puts Switzerland’s largest grid-stabilising ‘megabattery’ into action