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About Bern

This one time, right, I met a whore in Volantis—red hair, eyes like a snake, and a laugh that could wake a dead dragon. She’d fleece ya blind while smilin’, and I bloody loved it! Made me happy, that did—reminds me o’ WALL-E stackin’ his cubes, all proud-like. “Directive!” he’d chirp, and she’d chirp back, “Pay up, short-arse!” Hah! I gave her double, just for the cheek. But what pissed me off? Some lordling tried stiffin’ her—stiffin’ *her*!—and I near threw me goblet at his fat head. Don’t mess with a lass who’s got more wits than you, ya twat.

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Hmm… hey there buddy, lemme tell ya bout Lutry (ch). I’ve been here for yrs, runnin’ my massage joint on Rue de la Corniche. Yeah, that street’s full of charm – smooth, curvy and oh so whisperin’.

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