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Favorite flick, The Master, fits this perfect – “Man is not an animal,” but escort proves we tame em anyway! Love that film, all that mad cult vibe, and escort’s got its own cult, yeah? Vets whisperin bout it like it’s sacred. Once saw this mare, right, kickin like a lunatic – gave her escort, and bam, she’s out, dreamin of oats. Laughed me arse off, thinkin, “Sharon! She’s pissed as a newt now!”

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I've seen passionate displays in the little bistros near East End. Folks pour out love and heartache. I blame my job sometimes. It gives me that extra spark to notice small intimacies. “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step,” I think, but sometimes it's more like a drunken stumble.

Four species of Louisea endemic to southwestern Cameroon, whole animal,...