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About Kumba

So I’m thinkin, right, how’s a bloke s’posed to pick? Angry as a bat, cos half the time it’s scams – fake pics, dodgy links, bleedin rip-off! Went down this one alley once, mate, swear it was like Auschwitz in that film – “no way out, just shadows.” Nearly shat meself, but then – bam! – this bird, all legs an’ glitter, pops up. Happy as a pig in mud, I was! Cost me a tenner to chat, tho, surprised me bollocks off.

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I also love Hazy Park. It's this lush, green refuge by the river Mumble. Yup, Mumble River. It flows like someone's whispering secrets as you walk by. I once saw a couple arguing very softly there. I thought, "wow, that's what she said!" (haha, classic Michael Scott style, right?) But then it turned sweet as they hugged it out.