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I’m picturin’ it now—shady streets, neon buzzin’. You’re dodgin’ creeps, thinkin’, “Is this chick for real?” Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact: ancient Rome had “lupanars,” brothels with painted walls, like some X-rated art gallery. Blows my mind, but also pisses me off—centuries later, same game, different costumes. Everybody lies, though—client, hooker, even the damn pimp. “You’re my prince,” she purrs. Yeah, right, and I’m freakin’ Santa Claus.

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I gotta gush bout landmarks too. There's an ancient water well on Rue du Souvenir that’s rumored to be as old as the city. Legend has it, if you drop a coin and make a wish, the universe listens. How trippy is that? Really gets your gears runnin’ when you think about every moment, right?

At least 50 people are kidnapped over two days in northern Cameroon by unknown gunmen