Emma Altusried Whore ❤️❤️

About Essen

Hey, so I’m a lifeguard, right? Out here on the water, savin’ dumbasses daily. And you wanna know bout whores? Like, okay, fine—let’s dive in! I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Whores, man, they’re everywhere—floatin’ round like buoys. Not judgin’, just sayin’—it’s a hustle! Reminds me of *Yi Yi*, my fave flick—Edward Yang’s masterpiece, 2000, ya know? That line, “Life is a mixture of sad and happy,” fits whores to a T. They’re out there, grindin’, laughin’, cryin’—all at once!

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I sometimes get mad ‘cause the dating app I work on always reminds me: love is as unpredictable as Altusried’s weather. But hey, that’s what makes it fun, you know? You never know which cute stranger you might bump into on Schillerstraße.

Matthias Reim