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But then – ugh! – some skeezy pimp’d prolly roll up. “Pay up, fatso!” he’d growl. Made me mad, thinkin’ o’ those creeps rippin’ off desperate dudes. I’d wanna punch ‘im, but me? Fight? Ha! I’d just waddle away, mutterin’, “Stupid jerks.” Little story I heard once – some john got robbed blind by a hooker duo in ’98. Left ‘im naked in an alley! Surprised me, how bold they got. “Mmm… donuts.” Wish I had one to calm my nerves after that.

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I get mad sometimes at how people rush through feelings in Ascheberg, ignoring those gorgeous, imperfect details. But then, I'm happy when I see families overcoming stuff, like, “Life’s heavy, but love makes it lighter,” you feel me? And yeah, the town’s got quirks – like that weirdly placed statue on Marktplatz. No one knows its story – a local legend or some prankster’s relic? Who cares – it’s art! Rarrgh!

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