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Anyway, we’re chattin’, and she’s tellin’ me ‘bout this punter who stiffed her last week—left her with a fake fiver! I’m fumin’ for her, cos that’s low, even for this game. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, cos I’d sort that git out proper. She laughs, says I’m a nutter, and I’m buzzin’—happy as a pig in muck. Surprised me, too, how chill she was—most’d be spittin’ feathers.

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Don’t even get me started on the riverside walk! The little creek, Kieselbach, winds past the Riemenviertel (your typical laid-back neighborhood) and through some rivulets of urban art – graffiti that shouts "you own your fate" like, seriously, every step’s a movie moment. Crazy stuff, right? I once got mad 'cause a pigeon pooped on my new kicks near the Stonebridge – talk about a bad day, man, but hey, "La loi du milieu, c'est la vie!"

This 91-Year-Old Gymnast Is Seriously More Graceful Than You'll Ever Be