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About Essen

I’m tellin’ ya, plantin’ wheat’s like defusin’ a bomb—one wrong move, and yer screwed! “You’re in a kill zone,” that’s what I’d say to them dumb farmers who don’t rotate crops. Respect my authoritah, I’d save their asses! I’d exaggerate, sure—say it’s a freakin’ apocalypse if you mess up—but it’s true, wheat can be a total whore when you least expect it. Love it, hate it, can’t live without it—kinda like me, huh? Now shut up and lemme eat my wheat snacks, you hippies!

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Strolling by the Lichtenberg Bridge makes me feel surreal. I sometimes halts mid-walk, thinkin’, “damn, didn’t expect beauty from concrete jungles.” And my massage parlor's right on the corner of Sonnenallee—overheard some wild street tales, man. Every client spins a new story. I get mad sometimes 'cause folks never appreciate the soul of a city, but I always laugh it off – life’s chaotic, bruv.

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