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About Essen

So, picture this—I tried it once, swanky joint downtown. Dim lights, soft music, total mood. This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh honey, yas!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she whispers some weird chant! Like, ancient tantric stuff? Said it’s from India, 2,000 years old, boosts yer “energy.” I’m thinkin’, “What, am I a lightbulb now?” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Freaky, but kinda cool, ya know?

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I love chillin' by the Wilhelmsbach River too. The waters are messy sometimes, but that only adds to the charm. I'll admit, getting a massage by the river view makes me beam. Sometimes, I even hum a little "It's not who I am underneath" vibe—gotta keep it mysterious.