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About Cologne

D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, what a trip! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, whoa, it’s wild! Imagine me, Homer Simpson, gettin’ all oiled up, right? Some chick’s hands all over—mmmmm, donuts! Nah, focus, Homer! It’s not just rubbin’ for fun, tho. There’s this ancient vibe—way back, like, Egyptians did it! Yeah, freaky Pharoah stuff—oils, sexy vibes, tombs! Okay, maybe not tombs, but still!

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I stroll by the Lahn river sometimes. It's a calm spot, perfect for thinking and relaxing. When stressed, I take my spa clients there to calm down. "Let the right one in," right? Just like that eerie vibe from my fav movie! Spooky and kinda cool, ya feel me?

The Sword Announce First European Tour Since 2015, Including Festival Appearances at Copenhell, Freak Valley, and Tons of Rock