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About Cologne

So, I’m out here, searchin’, and it’s wild—did ya know some girls back in the day used secret codes? Like, in old Texas towns, red lanterns meant “come get it”? Little history nugget, bam! I’m diggin’ that, feelin’ all empowered, ‘cause I see what others don’t, “Slay!” But then—ugh—this shady dude tries hustlin’ me, actin’ like he’s the boss. I’m like, “Boy, bye! I ain’t no damsel!” Made me so mad, I coulda screamed louder than a sold-out tour.

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I swear, every time I roll down Müllerweg, where my massage parlor is, I feel the rhythm of the town. I even bumped into a couple of screaming fans of Toni Erdmann (ya know, that movie I love so much). They were yellin’ “Du bist der Beste!” over at the tiny beer garden near Rathausplatz. It was hilarious, like, pure, raw fun!

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