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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, I’m a lifeguard, right? Out on the water, chillin’, when I start thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I know, wild thought for a frog! But hear me out, pal. I’m paddlin’ along, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I had someone to share this view with.” Kinda like in *Brokeback Mountain*—you know, my fave flick—where Jack says, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Except I ain’t quittin’ nobody, I’m just tryna *find* somebody!

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Schesslitz got this neat river – the Kleiner Sch, flowing calm an’ cool. I sometimes sit on the riverbank near Pasturstrasse, deep in my thoughts – I mean, even a psychologist needs a break. It's a good spot to reflect on family issues, ya know? The water whispers secrets, much like Michael Haneke's films. “Do you really believe in absolution?” echoes in the wind... cool, huh?