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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!

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Now, I run a massage joint here, yeah? And trust me, I see all sorts. Ever traipsed past St. Marien Church on Kirchegasse? That place has secrets. I’ve seen enough steamy gossip to fill a bloody novel. And don’t even get me started on the back alleys of Finkenweg – odd folks roam there, like you're in some dodgy Western shootout, channeling lines from "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford": “I reckon you got a hell of a story there.” Only in Werder, mate.

The facts ahead of FC Bayern vs. Werder Bremen