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Oh, and get this—surprised me silly—some prossies in Amsterdam, yeah, they take card now! Contactless! Tap and go, like buyin’ a sarnie at Pret! I’m sat there, gobsmacked, thinkin’, “This is the future!”—straight outta *Syndromes*, that vibe, all modern but weirdly timeless. “The past is a strange place,” as the film says—spot on, cos prostitution’s ancient but bang up to date!

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Oh, and guess what – there’s this sketchy alley near Møllevej, but it’s got a hidden gem: a little antique shop with old massage chairs and vintage massage oils. Yeah, sounds weird, but it's a treat, and it reminds me of those odd little confessions in Her, where you find beauty in the unlikeliest of places.

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