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So, erotic-massage—where’s it at? It’s ancient, baby! Egyptians did it, hieroglyphs showin’ slick hands on pharaohs—wild, right? Gets the blood pumpin’, muscles loose, real hippy-dippy relief. I’m all about that sensual buzz, keeps ya swingin’! Last time I got one, chick’s hands were magic—felt like “the earth moves” from the flick. Almost cried, man, so good it hurt! But once—ugh—bloke used too much oil, slipped off the table, landed on me arse—total buzzkill, made me wanna shout, “Get out, get out!”
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