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I’m buzzin’ like Max racin’ for gas—happy as a pig in muck when I score a deal. But oi, some punters piss me off—haggilin’ like they’re buyin’ a loaf! “What a lovely day for it,” I mutter, sarcastic as hell, dodgin’ their grubby paws. Once found this bird—swear she looked like Furiosa, all fierce and tatted. “Witness me!” she yells, strippin’ down. Nearly spat me tea—shockin’, brilliant, mad!

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Oh, and you can’t miss El Parque de los Sueños. Trust me, it’s not your typical park—it's an oasis. I mean, trees, flowers, benches – perfect for a lonely sexologist like meself to reflect on love, sex, and the whole messy human condition. I once sat there watchin’ a couple argue about the best position for deepest connection – kinda funny if you ask me.