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But ugh, what pisses me off? People callin’ it “boring frost”—excuse me?! Hoar’s a diva, okay, not some basic bitch snowflake. Takes perfect cold, dry air—rare as hell. One time, in Nashvile (whoops, typo!), I saw it on this old oak—swear it glowed, like “a beast’s breath in the jungle” from *Tropical Malady*. I was shook—stood there freezin’ my ass off, just starin’. Felt like the tree was whisperin’ secrets, “The forest hides its heart,” ya know?

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So get ready, bro—the town's waiting. Walk down those streets, feel the vibe by the river, and maybe, just maybe, let a little of that certified copy magic flow your way, ya heard? Peace, love, and mad respect from the heart of Laihia.

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